I am feeling emotional of late. I have been told we become child-like as we age. I now have some friends who are care-taking parents and they are experiencing similar situations.
I mean, look, this blog is named Turnabout is Fair Play? This care taking for adult children is only amplified at the times I become part of the "sandwich generation". These are the times I have my grand daughter visiting. She is 6 years old now and the best part of my life. I am struck at how my grand-daughter is now far more self-sufficient than my mother.
My Mom is really not much taller than my grand-daughter at this point.She continues to shrink, probably due to spinal stenosis. I always tease her and say that one day I will come in to wake her and only an empty nightgown will be in the bed. Other times I say, she will be pocket size and I can take her everywhere in my pocket. Sure we laugh about it, but seeing her as I dress her or help her in the bathroom makes me sad.
Other times, I see the child after settling her on a sofa, with her blanket and newspaper and I pick up the phone to make a call but she needs something N-O-W. We cannot wait. If I am talking to a guest, she interrupts to ask a question that relates to nothing we have been talking about. When I finally settle her in and get the t.v. channel that she wants, she needs to get up to go to the bathroom. If we are watching something she doesn't like, she lowers her chair and says she wants to go to bed N-O-W. If we change the channel, she stays up.
Other child-like things: pointing and saying "look" because the words are too hard to come up with. At bed time, finding this the time to talk about life, hopes, wishes, and memories. We do not have these discussions during the day time. Much like my babies when I got them in bed...that was the time to talk. The old "stall" tactic.
Fears are still there: the doors being locked, are the lights on, something is burning, what if the washing machine breaks? Questions upon questions, again like a child asks.
When my babies were babies I knew they would grow out of the inability to take care of themselves. I knew they would be able to dress themselves, toilet themselves and get into bed by themselves one day. The only respite here will be to lose her and I don't want that.
If I could have any wish possible, I would wish that we were both young again. Of course, I would want to know what I know today...I would do a better job at lots of things.
