I know it has been a long time! I started the blog because I felt I had come through some tough times and learned a lot about myself, life,tolerance, love, and my Mom. I wanted this to be a positive journal of a journey. In many ways, my blogging is my therapist. A road to my own examinations of thoughts and feelings. People can read or not read, or stop in the middle when they find me "too negative."
Lately I am just tired and at night when I finally get into bed, I crash. The rest of time, I find I am compulsively playing cards on my i-Pod and hating myself for it.
I think I had talked to someone about some of the health issues that Mom was having of late and my back and shoulder aches due to her increasing inability to get up and down by herself. I have also been interviewing lots of caregivers so that I am not tied down to one person. I find it kind of stressful to interview (and did even when I interviewed for employees). I have told Mom that she is to be a part of the interview, help me pick a person that she would enjoy spending sometime with.
Anyway the comment was made that I was a "really good daughter." I thought that was nice, but at this time in my life, I wanted to be a really good wife and a really good grandmother. I can't help but be jealous of my retired friends who are taking classes, traveling and hiking. A short trip out to the front of the property to feed the horses can have consequences.
