Yesterday was one of the days that I go out and do stuff. We have a wonderful woman who comes out on Tuesdays and Saturdays to stay with my Mom. She worked for my sister-in-law's mother. I know that Mom will be well cared for when I go out.

I just do errands or appointments. Sometimes I meet my husband for dinner and a movie. This past month we have had dinner at friends' homes. That has been wonderful to do that too. For the past almost 2 years our lives have revolved around my parents.

So when I get in my car, driving down the freeway, I feel exhilarated as I think " I feel normal" and then I start to feel guilty, almost immediately. It is just a mix of emotion. Originally I would go out and talk about my Mom, her problems, my problems with her problems and people would ask how I am and I would tell them how my Mom was.

Lately I have worked hard at asking what other people are doing, responding to things outside my house, there is a world out there. I am trying to be normal in or out of the house. But then again, what is normal?