Who knew? I just happened to see a review of Gail Sheehy's new book: Passages in Caregiving. Many years ago I had loved her book called Passages that was a road map to growing up and changing in the 70's,I think.
The review itself had so many things that I could identify with about caregiving. I bought the book as soon as I could and have been reading it with a yellow highlighter. I am amazed that caregiving is a job that 1/3 of the population handles at this time. Yet it is not uncommon at all to feel alone in the job, to deny ourselves the joy in life, to not realize the options available to us. I feel validated and understood and that is HUGE! She also says that care-giving actually started in the early days when I was still working, and began to handle the checkbook, the grocery shopping, the doctor appointments and the pharmacy orders. I guess I didn't realize that was the beginning. I do remember a day at their doctor's when the nurse practitioner told me that she was glad I was there. I had driven them that day because Dad didn't want to drive. The nurse said that someone in the family needed to be present to know what was going on.She didn't think that either one of them remembered much when they left the office.
Yet later as things got complicated and more time consuming, I asked if there were any support groups for family members who were still working full time and there were none that the doctor's office knew about. The assisted living facility where Mom and Dad lived had no support group. When I asked the administrator about starting one, he said he would look into it, but he was fired before was able to do anything. The next administrator was no help, and neither was the next and I didn't even ask the next one. I couldn't keep up with all of it myself. It was shortly after that that we decided to move them in with us anyway.
This wonderful life-saving book has all kinds of suggestions and ideas and web sites and services. So in addition to saying "yes, this is huge and overwhelming, and important; I also get some ideas about where to turn for support and relief. I am sure I will write more...but this is enough for right now: Yay...someone knows me and says my feelings are valid.
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